Be Gentle

-

During one of many Covid-safe walks recently my brother Greg told me that I am one of two people he knows who hasn't had a set 'vision' for life. I jokingly asked if he sees me as a loafer with no aspirations but I knew what he was saying was positive. 

We were talking about the past year and how it has affected so many people's plans. It goes without saying that 2020 has turned the world upside down and that, understandably, many have struggled with lockdowns, job changes or losses, relationships or illness. More time spent considering personal situations and futures seems to have been a common thread among people I work with and know personally, with many people making quite drastic changes to jobs and home life. As we talked further Greg explained that he sees my lack of rigid planning as a good approach and that it seems to have made me content in life. I'm aware that I do feel content but I've never considered that this may be, in part, because I failed to make firm plans in my younger years regarding my future. In fact on reflection, much of my life has taken me by surprise. Engaged at 20, married at 22 a baby at 24, another at 27. A third baby never came but maybe that was OK because I didn't have an ideal family in mind, I'm just so grateful for the two children I have. 

Aspects of my career have surprised me too. I always knew I wanted to provide care but at the last minute changed from midwifery to nursing. I never expected to be practice nursing at 23, I just didn't think I'd be taken on for lack of experience. Following on I've worked in parish nursing, school nursing and am about to embark on counselling. Again, none of this has been planned, instead I have just grabbed opportunities as they've become available. I never thought to meticulously schedule my life. And now I've had a bit of time to contemplate this, I'm glad I didn't! I've always seen life as a huge jumble of varied experiences. Not all of them good but those are the times that shape us. I never expected to develop a lifelong lung condition at 32 but to quote Ronan Keating 'Life is a rollercoaster, just got to ride it'. Not my taste in music but I agree with the sentiment!

Perhaps a lesson to learn from the pandemic is that a fluid approach to life is key. If we pin hopes on a certain lifestyle or timeline without acknowledging it may not work out, the effects might be damaging to our mental health, our relationships and future choices. If the last nine months have taught us anything it's that we are not really in control. Life can be wonderful. Be gentle with yourself and enjoy all that's in store.

Merry Christmas and here's to a promising year to come 🎄


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Churchill

-
In my first week of parish nursing I was asked to visit Phillip. I hadn't been told much about him other than that he used to attend the church. I arrived and let myself in the back door as I'd been instructed. I'm always amazed by how trusting some older people are; I could've been anyone wandering about his house. After sticking my head in nearly every room I found him upstairs in bed just finishing his lunch. Phillip was only in his late seventies but had issues with his circulation, which meant that at times it was too painful to walk. Today was one of those days, which was why he had his legs up in bed. It was clear that he was once a strong man; he was still solid and broad shouldered as he sat in his pyjamas. After I introduced myself he told me that he'd been on the television the night before. Not knowing Phillip yet I wasn't quite sure if he was mentally sound or not. It was quite a strange thing to say upon meeting someone for the first time, I th
Read more

Mental Un-health?

-
Firstly, I feel I need to make some kind of disclaimer to make it clear that what I've written here is in no way intended to offend or upset anyone. I've been sitting on this blog for a couple of months now as the topic is a sensitive one and I've been unsure how well it will be received. It may seem that each paragraph swings between opposing viewpoints and that's because I have no idea what the right outcome should be. I’m not here to give answers as I don’t have them but I have had many conversations over the last few months that I feel could raise useful and important discussions. What I have written is based on personal experiences, my own observations and those made by colleagues and other parents. During my time as a school nurse it has been impossible to ignore how many children seem to be suffering with mental health issues. Stress, anxiety and depression are rife among all year groups and there are days when I wonder if there is a child in existence who is gro
Read more

Yoga

-
I recently read Claudia Winkleman's book Quite where she makes it clear she is not a fan of yoga. She's been known before to describe it as smelling of 'smug and hummus'. While this is amusing, conjuring images of teachers dressed in wheat wafting around an incense filled studio, I actually feel sad that Claudia has never experienced the true benefits of yoga. If you've read my book or earlier blogs you'll know that firstly, I suffer with a long-term chest disease, and secondly that I've done yoga for over 20 years now and love it so much I decided to train to teach it in 2018. I've recently read and listened to the experiences of two very successful YouTube yoga teachers who have both suffered severe illnesses and for whom yoga has been a vital component of their recovery and management of long-term conditions. It made me consider my own experience and why yoga means so much to me. I rarely get through a day without practising at some point. It's b
Read more